I'm sorry to have another depressing post but I'm just reall..

I'm sorry to have another depressing post but I'm just really fucking down and upset and I feel like I can just be real and open with you guys I know a lot of you guys are here just for the nudes and shit but I know some of you guys do actually care about my feelings . I know I should have expected this I should have known better. I honestly have never been so let down and disappointed ever in my entire life as I am right now I've never been ditched as many times as I have in this last few weeks literally getting fucking ghosted after being talked to and literally after sending a text and then literally just completely ghosted, and also not answering any of my phone calls, but will text me a few minutes after I call so do you think I'm fucking stupid? first off the one time when you told me you were staying over at your friend's house literally two minutes down the street couldn't come home and sleep at home is it an offer to pick you up several times today when you're in another place but literally deny my offer to pick you up and they're not answering any of my calls anytime I call like do you not think I can put two and two together it just makes it look way more suspicious. Bit I'm the fucking idiot. Literally last night was the longest and most he's ever talk to me since I've been back from Jamie's. do you know what the real reason why he only talk to me as much last night was because he was fucking dr.unk. Like literally I just feel like I'm worthless. You know like I've had a shity week shity last few weeks and I just wanted to fucking hangout cuz I literally have nobody else to hang out with you know last night we were getting along great through texts because of course he didnt fucking stay home went and "played PS4 and drink white claws with his buddies" but I wasn't born yesterday guys only drink white claws when there's girls around not a fucking idiot even though I don't drink I'm not fucking stupid. or at least that's what he said I don't believe it whatsoever. Like I said last night was the most that he talked to me in the last 2 weeks and he seemed very eager and excited to hang out with me today they're literally I just put two and two together and figured I was because he was druunk because literally today he hardly talk to me hardly text me ignore my phone calls and told me he was going to be home hours ago and it's already 9. like how do you expect me to be excited and eager to hang out with you now when you literally have ditched me all fucking day and then you're going to come home and all I've literally been doing all day so I can cleaning and excited to actually have some hangout session because literally I haven't hung out and done nothing in like 2 weeks. I was really looking forward to tonight sick and tired of being fucking letdown I'm feeling like I'm literally a worthless piece of fucking shit .. and I may sound crazy but he's using a SIM card attached to my line so in my opinion I feel like I have every right to observe the usage if it's my SIM card not fucking paying for it but of course I think caught on cuz now literally since last night the data are time in messaging usage has not updated so I have a feeling that he l figured it out and I don't know what the fuck he did because he can't log into the account either like is connected to a hotspot or turned on his mobile. Or I don't fucking know then of course I had to say something stupid about his Facebook and then he went fucking privatized to Facebook like all these little fucking things add up and they all just start making more and more sense what the fuk can I do I'm literally stuck here can't move out can't do anything. I just wish I had some fucking friends but I'm literally such an introverted can't even make one for the life of me and I'm way too fucking depressed even attempt to make any right now cuz I've been making friends for the wrong reason. Not even dating this guy and I literally feel so heartbroken guess that's what happens when you get close to your friends and end up living with them. I really don't understand how guys can be so fucking heartless like literally all I've been doing is not stop thinking about all the shit for the last few weeks and he's literally just doesn't even give t-shirts about me I don't know why I can't just looking let it go and just move on but it's hard to move on when you're stuck living in the fucking environment that you're dealing with the stress and. it's no different than being a drug addict it's hard for somebody to quit doing drugs and other people do it around them so it's no different than me living here it's hard for me to stop feeling this way when literally it's the environment a man and I can't move out or do anyting I'm going to say it got super fucking bad to the point that like I literally couldn't take it anymore but I don't have the financial means to be able to do that right now and I just be way more alone than I am now. I'm really sorry for this long sapping depressing post but I feel like I can be real with you guys and if you don't like it just drove past it we're all human we all have emotions reminder seem to affect me a lot more then others. I should have learned from the last two mistakes that I ended up with why do I always do this to myself. I literally feel like such a fucking idiot I wish I never moved here.cand then of course he shows up at home and I say a couple things to him and he's just like all fucking go back there